So there ya have it, the Candy Blood Bag. This nifty little seasonal item was found at my local Giant Eagle grocery store. I've heard about these several times in the past but never actually got my hands on one. After looking at the back of the card and noticing that it was an imported good, I just knew I had to taste this delicious lead laced liquid candy treat. Here is what the blood bag looks like.
Actually the thing looks pretty disgusting. When you tilt the bag to the side the blood doesn't just run down the side but is actually quite sticky and looks as though it really does have the consistency of real blood. After a few minutes of deliberating on whether or not this stuff would give me lead poisoning or just make me gag I decided to take the plunge and drink the damned stuff.
Taking the plunge.......
Right about now is when that godforsaken stuff is hitting the back of my throat in all of its frightfully warm and sticky grossness.
Kudos to the wife on the cool mirror effect, but wait a minute...... Blood drinking should equate to no reflection right? I guess I'm the shittiest vampire ever. Actually you haven't seen shitty vampire until you see the outtakes from this shoot. If you guys beg in the comments, I just might post two pictures of me in the most ridiculous poses you've ever seen.
So if you've never tried one of these things let me warn you ahead of time, DON'T!!!! This was one of the most wretched tasting things I've ever had the displeasure of pouring down my gulllet. It literally tasted like sour theatrical blood. It said it was supposed to taste like cherry. Did these guys use the Crayola method of naming their flavors. (Read the Crayola markers post if this doesn't make sense.) Seriously this tasted nothing like cherry but did taste exactly like sour, warm, sticky, dolphin blood. Boy did I feel like Dracula. Albeit a dolphin blood drinking one. Aqua Dracula perhaps?
By the way I'm totally bummed that none of these pictures show off the Dracula tuxedo shirt that I put on specifically for this post. However the shirt does show up very prominently in those outtake photos I was telling you about.
p.s. Sorry if that was a shitty post guys but again how much can you write about fake, shitty tasting, liquid, blood candy? Also for those that were interested in the "Horror Draft" let me know again because I'm not sure if my list is complete and I really want to get this thing off the ground in time for Halloween so I can throw together some nice prizes.